Demonbreun Fri Sep 23, 2011 1:37 amCash was originally an orphan, though as a youngster he made many friends. Among these was Uncle Shortstack, the fantastically artful dodger. He took the time once (after many drinks) to teach our young Halfling the secrets to his survival. Despite being a drug-addled, lecherous hobo, he made quite a few good points;
1. When in doubt, lie.
2. When caught in a lie, LIE EVEN HARDER.
3. The world is yours! Take what you want. Unless it's mine, in which case I'll cut you.
4. Rearrange the letters in Elf, you get "Evil". Think about that. (He was not the most literate bum)
5. We ain't short. Rest of the world just won't admit how awkwardly huge they are.
There were several hundred such "lessons", but the rest were mostly just insane inter-racial conspiracy theories. Still, Cash continues to live by these main points to this day.
1. When in doubt, lie.
2. When caught in a lie, LIE EVEN HARDER.
3. The world is yours! Take what you want. Unless it's mine, in which case I'll cut you.
4. Rearrange the letters in Elf, you get "Evil". Think about that. (He was not the most literate bum)
5. We ain't short. Rest of the world just won't admit how awkwardly huge they are.
There were several hundred such "lessons", but the rest were mostly just insane inter-racial conspiracy theories. Still, Cash continues to live by these main points to this day.
